I know that it can really sting to find out that your husband had an extramarital relation. It can have a huge impact on your life and deeply shake you to the core. In a second you can feel a bit like the floor just slid out from under your feet and you are plunging into a world of pain. I have been there myself and I know what you are going through.
Also, don?t misunderstand me. I am not blaming you for your man?s decision to cheat. It was really his choice to do what he did.
What I am talking about here is understanding that most affairs happen because there was something wrong with your relationship. He felt that he was not getting his needs met (usually emotional needs) met and decided to search for them outside the relationship rather than working things out with you.
Sure, he decided to cheat, but at the same time, you need to take responsibility for what you probably did or didn?t do to drive him away from you. Remember that a relationship takes both people, and if a relationship isn?t working then you contributed partially to it?s deterioration.
Here are 3 things that ladies do that continually drive men into another woman?s arms:
Nagging and Griping - To you, I?m sure doing these things is just your way of communicating what is on your mind. Griping is just a way that you express what your day was like, and nagging is just your way of getting your man to do the things which need to get done.
but you have to understand that to him, griping comes off as something that he has to fix. Men are natural problem fixers and when presented with a complaint, they will try to fix it. Nagging, on the other hand, makes him feel just like he?s somehow inadequate or not good enough.
When men don?t feel ?good enough? they?ll start to distance themselves from you and can be easily drawn in by someone who shows them respect and appreciation.
Emotional Distance ? Another reason why you could have contributed to the affair is perhaps because you and your husband haven?t taken the time to connect emotionally. I?m of the opinion that there is a popular stereotype that men only care about sex, but do you know that most guys say they had an affair because they didn?t feel an emotional connection with their wife?
I know that life is busy and between work and getting all of the errands done, it is hard to make time to actually connect with each other, but if you aren?t there to provide emotional friendship to your husband, he may start to go looking for it elsewhere.
Being Too Clingy - At the same time, you do not want to become too clingy and dependent on him either. There is a saying the harder you try to get something the more difficult it is to achieve. I?m sure that you only want to be close to him, but if you don?t give him his space once in a while, he will feel smothered.
If you?d like to learn more about how to survive an affair, please check out the article My Husband Is Cheating on the website Why Do Guys Cheat for more.
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